Post-store ownership, spring 2015, I was outside at a local restaurant sipping tea, enjoying the warm breeze, blue skies and great conversation with a good friend. She was asking me how I was doing with all the transition in my life and I answered with…
“I’m in the space between what was and what will be.”
As I spoke those words, a white feather fell from the sky, gently dancing its way under the umbrella and landing directly in front of me. We both gasped, nodded and said “well, if that isn’t a sign you’re exactly where you need to be!”
William Bridges, author of the book ‘Transitions, Making Sense of Life Changes’, says “Change is situational. Transition, on the other hand, is psychological. It is not those events, but rather the inner reorientation or self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life. Without a transition, a change is just a rearrangement of the furniture. Unless transition happens, the change won’t work, because it doesn’t take.
Calling all women who over-commit, over-schedule and have a to-do list a mile long!
When I took my year-long sabbatical – my year of no, the first few months were challenging. My sabbatical year wasn’t a year to be doing, it was a year to learn how ‘not to do’. Think that sounds wonderful? Let me tell you, it wasn’t.
Without adrenaline – my drug of choice, my mood plummeted, I felt worthless, useless and when the end of the day arrived and I had not accomplished my usual long list, I felt somehow that I had failed.
The Ashwood Recovery Center says, “…excessive stress is unhealthy, triggering both adrenaline and cortisol secretion. The more a person does such behaviors, the more s/he feels life is boring without the adrenaline hit, and thus is made the adrenaline junkie, seeking ever more and ever higher highs.”
A few months into my ‘Year of No’, I had these epiphanies…
#1: Women have a very skewed sense of how much they can accomplish in one day.
#2: Long to-do lists create anxiety, which ramps up adrenaline.
#3: Adrenaline is addictive (hence the ever-increasing dependency on caffeine).
Ask yourself these questions:
-Do you wake in the morning ticking off your to-do items before your head is off the pillow?
-Do you dread your day ahead?
-Do you wonder how you’re going to pull off ‘getting it all done’?
-And here’s the big one – on those rare occasions when you do find yourself with time on your hands, are you able to simple ‘be’ without agitation, without feeling guilty and without feeling bored? (more…)
The following blog is a break up letter with ‘Busy’. The letter I would have written years ago, had I known that ‘Busy’ was getting the best of me. After reading this, if you feel inspired – write your own letter and send it to the address below.
Dear Busy – Let’s Break Up
Busy, you used to be fun – remember that? Juggling a hundred things, multi-tasking like a boss. We arrived at the office before anyone else and hit the ground running. We were killing it – raking in the dollars, wining and dining clients and landing those big deals.
But then something shifted…when Friday arrived, you weren’t so fun anymore. I ended the week in a puddle of tears from exhaustion.
You’re pushy. I let you push me. read more…
I often feel I’m offered up circumstances as a ‘test’ to see where more learning is needed, or how far I’ve come. This most recent ‘test’ offered up a bit of both.
I was the lucky recipient of ‘free’ Facebook ad dollars, but when I checked my ad account balance, I discovered –GASP– this ‘free’ credit expired in 12 hours. Mind you, I can quickly whip up a print ad, but placing social media advertising is a whole different animal.
But…what the heck. No sense wasting an opportunity, so I did my best and created a “boosted post”.
And then this happened…
- People signed up for my free offer (I’m not talking hundreds – a handful).
- I began getting requests to join my Facebook group.
- I panicked!
As I watched the number of ‘views’ surpass 10,000, I had a visceral reaction that reverberated through my entire body and in an instant triggered ‘old stuff.’ I wanted to hide. My Facebook group isn’t “good enough” yet. What if they don’t like my free offer? What if I didn’t set up my auto-responder emails correctly? What if…
A few days ago, I woke up ‘in the mood’ to purge paperwork. As I dug through old files I came across a course I created many years ago. I took a break and began to flip through the 55-pages that represented months of research and writing. My first thought was, “wow, this is so good!” My second thought was, “why wasn’t I able to turn my idea, into a profitable success?”
So, there I was, flipping through that old course workbook, trotting down memory lane, and thinking about my passion project (the creation of my Alchemy of Feminine Leadership™ course) and darn if a wave of self-doubt didn’t hit me…what if I can’t do this?
A few days before my paperwork purge, I had tea with an author friend. I had read her wonderful book while on vacation and was curious how her self-published book, went from being sold out of her truck, to being picked up by one of the largest publishing houses in the world (think JK Rowling – yah, big!), with a two-book deal?
As I listened to her story, I realized that she embodies the Six Principles of Success: Clarity, conviction, confidence, compassion, connection and contribution. She splendidly proved to me that with these core principles in place—success as you define it, is very possible, if not inevitable.
A Tale of Two Stories with Wisdom to Further your Desires and your Success…
Years ago, even though I was a ‘go-getter’ and appeared to have it all together the concept of clarity had not yet entered my world. I lived with mental chaos, overwhelm and believing that to be successful, one must juggle many balls and say “yes” to everyone.
My friend, channeled her energy in a singular direction so that her efforts were not diluted by distractions (aka, mental chaos) and juggled only one ball – the research and writing of her book.