Three Key Elements For Getting What You Want Most Out of Life
Do you agree that our culturally perpetuated drive to achieve and accomplish, often lands women squarely in their head space…over-thinking, over-analyzing, over-worrying, over-pleasing and over-busy?
Yes?
Well then, allow me to introduce the concept of ‘flourishment’.
I love this non-word. I even use it front and center on my website: “I help women like you, who desire to make a positive impact, get out of your own way by identifying the behaviors and hidden beliefs (yes, we all have them) that are blocking your path to ‘flourishment’.
The word flourishment [Nourish + Flourish = Flourishment] came to me in a roundabout way…via what I call “thought pops,” – ideas that come from nowhere. Although recently someone, with a twinkle in her eye, said “Suzy, they come from somewhere.” Truthfully, we all get them. But so often, because our culture supports a life guided by a well-tuned mind (aka, busy mind), as opposed to a tuned-in soul, these thoughts from “somewhere” are often missed and land nowhere.
Around 2010, when I was in the beginning phases of loosening my mental grip (unwinding from busyness) and strengthening my soul-grip, I went for a walk in the woods when out of nowhere…(😉) I heard these three touchstones for living a life of flourishment:
- Nourish the body
- Quiet the mind
- Feed the soul
My intention for this email, was to write a definition for each these, but something didn’t feel right. I have learned (often via a ‘2 x 4’ hitting me upside the head) that if something feels off, it usually means I’m missing something. To avoid the ‘2 x 4’, I now step away for a bit because usually I’m missing the ‘something’ due to being stuck in my head (see how this works?).
That is what I did—I stepped away. Three weeks later, I revisited writing this and voilà —what came to me is…
It is not my place to describe each of these touchpoints for you, it’s for you to ask the following questions and define the meaning for yourself. This would seem like a no-brainer; however with the plethora of information available nowadays, telling you what to do and how to do it, it’s easy to forget that what is most important, is what you decide for yourself.
#1: Where are you being called to tune-in (fine-tune) with each touchstone?
In addition, a valuable question to ask yourself is:
#2: What does each touchstone ‘feel’ like to you?
When you define the feeling, it becomes easier to associate with. Like a good friend—your desire to spend time tending to each of these areas grows when there is a positive feeling associated.
To help get your ideas flowing here are my examples:
NOURISH THE BODY
Nourish my body with healthy food and movement.
Nourish what is important to me: Relationships, Tuning-in, Nature.
**What does ‘nourish’ feel like?
Nourish feels gentle and soothing, like how you treat a baby – with tender love and care.
QUIET THE MIND
Silence is the pathway to my soul and creativity. For me this means no other sounds – no music, no podcasts, no talking – simply hearing what naturally surrounds me.
**What does quiet feel like?
The phrase “it’s like a breath of fresh air” so beautifully describes the feeling that quiet brings to me. It’s aligning, uplifting, calming.
FEED THE SOUL
My soul food is laughter, uplifting conversation, nature, witnessing women breakthrough their mental smokescreens (myself include), adventure and cozy time at home.
**What does a well fed soul feel like?
When my soul is receiving daily morsels, I feel calm, resilient, content, hopeful, connected and I sleep well…which I haven’t been, which brings me to:
I refer to ‘nourish the body, ‘quiet the mind’ and ‘feed the soul’ as touchstones, because they serve as beautiful reminders (I’d love to have these actually engraved on stones) to pause and tune-in.
Especially handy for course-correcting when you catch yourself ‘squarely in your head’ – which often translates into tension, stress and yup, you got it – over-thinking!
Pausing. Tuning in. Course correcting.
Wishing you ever-growing flourishment of mind, body and soul!
~Suzy
10 Steps for Navigating Life Transitions
There’s a quote by Microsoft Founder Bill Gates “I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it”
One of the definitions for lazy is “unwilling to use energy.” That would be me…because currently I have none. My mojo is apparently on an extended vacation. So, in true lazy fashion I scanned through old blogs that I could rerun and came across this one written in 2013 that began with, “how do I get through this period of transition without letting the intensity of circumstances drag me down?”
Ermahgerd …you mean I’m here again? Uh huh!
What surprised me most about this blog, which I hadn’t noticed until I went looking for something to ‘rerun’ was how many views it had received. More than any other blog I’ve written.
This tells me, I wasn’t the only one back in 2013 navigating the hurdles of transition and I’m not the only one now. I hope you find these ten ideas helpful.
The ‘*’ indicates year 2020 additions.
#1: Prioritize Self-care. Whether this means stepping outside for a few minutes to breathe deeply or taking “10” to quiet the mind and relax.
*I found it interesting that this was written a few years before the phrase came to me – Sacred Selfishness: The Practice of Prioritizing Self. Perhaps a premonition of what was to come.
#2: Stay out of the ‘how’. I get so stuck in the question of “how am I going to do this”?
*Today I have on repeat a quote from Tosha Silver “Let everything that needs to go, go. Let everything that needs to come, come”…an antidote to over-thinking.
Ask for What You Want – Dream Weaving Your 2020!
The last few weeks I’ve allowed my mind and emotions to twist and turn through 2019 – truthfully, this year did not go how I expected. I was sidelined in ways I had not anticipated and uplifted in ways I could not have foreseen…which lands me at the end of the year scratching my head a bit, wondering about mountains.
Yup. Mountains (and pearls too).
For Christmas, my husband gave me a card for people born on the 1st of a month (May for me). He was struck by how the card described my characteristics so well. According to the card, those born on the 1st of a month are innovative, self-reliant, yada yada (good stuff) – but, as we tend to live on the edge, we feel different than others and that can create a sense of inadequacy. Sigh…oh-so-accurate.
As 2019 comes to a close my inner dialogue is going something like this: ”well, that worked, that didn’t, I like that, I didn’t like that – that was fun, not doing that again and what needs polishing?”
In 2015 I wrote a manifesto that included, “my intention is to find pearls of wisdom within and polish those pearls and bring them to the world.” The past four years, I’ve polished (at times with the help of a therapist), created, wrote, beta-tested, mentored and now I have this great body of work that helps women get out of their own way (because we are really good at getting in our own way, aren’t we?!)…
But – I’m scratching my head…
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End of Year Mantra for You.
Arrived. The Holidays!
At this time of year, I find myself thinking about the year ahead and the year almost behind. There’s a plethora of ideas out there for ending the year and for starting the new year…so I’m offering up simplicity with this mantra, courtesy of Tosha Silver, author of Outrageous Openness.
“Let everything that needs to go, go.
Let everything that needs to come, come.”
Breathe that in, repeat often.
I wish you the happiest holiday season and blissful closure to 2019.
Cheers!
~Suzy
PS. Check out my upcoming course: CALLING IN CLARITY. Click here to learn more.
3 Questions to Ask for to Unplug from Pushing
One of my favorite phrases, shared with me by a wise friend is “the teacher, teaches what she needs to learn”. For the past two years, I’ve been on a deep dive exploration, curating content for my newest body of work. You’ve probably heard the analogy of peeling the layers of the onion. I have learned and peeled and will continue until the day I take my last breath. Why? It’s a necessary process because only by peeling the layers, can one reveal what’s true and bring forth clarity.
As the layers fell away, I noticed, even though I’ve come light years with lightening up “my push,” this behavior can slither its way in. Enter EMDR Therapy, (EMDR uses exposure to a traumatic memory or disturbing event paired with “bilateral stimulation” of the brain) to unhook deep seated trauma from my childhood.
The feeling I was exploring was my “nose to the grindstone push,” prompted by my desire to increase my sense of ease and energetic flow.
Are you aware of the feeling, when you are channeling all your energy and focus into completing and accomplishing a project or task?
read more…
