Last week flew by for me. Do you ever have weeks like this? All of sudden it’s Friday and then you remember – oh shoot, I didn’t get _____________ done!
My ________________ was writing this weeks blog.
- I suppose I could have written it over the weekend.
- I suppose I could have gotten up extra early or stayed up extra late.
But then I looked at a list I keep on my bulletin board of what’s most important to me and made the choice to trust that an idea would come to me and made an agreement with myself, to not give writing my blog another thought, because…
When I glanced at my list, “meaningful connection” was shining brightly. So, my husband and I chose to have our six-year old friend overnight and spend most of Saturday taking her to our county fair (pigs, cats, horses, bunny’s – fun stuff!) and out to lunch. Very fun and then Sunday a family members beautiful wedding. Two days of soul-care – doing what makes our hearts happy!
Occasionally ‘I must write my blog’ slipped into my mental space, but I remembered my agreement and let that thought go – trusting that an idea would come.
Guess what? Monday morning I woke up and knew exactly what to share for this weeks blog…something both different and valuable for finding clarity, gaining energy and determining what is most important to you.
Every Wednesday in my facebook group Virago Women, I share ideas for navigating some of the main issues that many women find challenging.
So in lieu of writing this week (although…did you catch how ‘going with the flow’ works? 😉, I’m sharing five FB LIVE topics that you can choose from – or watch them all [each video is 10-minutes or less].
Click on the title link to watch.
(My first live – start at the 1-minute mark to skip my blooper).
The Holy Grail of Self Care
A healthier way of embracing self-care
Stay in Your Own Lane
This could also be called – How to Take your Energy Back
The ‘I Shoulds’…Should Not
Are you ruled by ‘shoulds’? I was – big time!
This is a very important concept, especially for women. This video shares why.
I’d love to know which topic most resonated with you and why…
Clarity is…well – it’s everything. When you have clarity; overwhelm dissipates, anxiety diminishes, worry takes a back seat (or no seat at all), thoughts and beliefs previously hidden under a blanket of “I shoulds,” concerns, responsibilities and projects, reveal themselves – you become aware – and then there is space for clarity to emerge.
Recently I was walking with a friend who process’s outwardly, as opposed to thinking things through mentally/emotionally and then speaking (that’s more my style). She speaks to find her clarity. I’m honored she feels comfortable enough with me to let her thoughts meander and…
It’s a win/win. I receive insight, and often there’s a reciprocal pearl of wisdom that is shared—which is exactly what happened on our most recent walk. She shared an idea with me, that someone had shared with her, that I thought was brilliant – a mini ‘self’ retreat. Spending a day or optimally a couple of days with one of the most interesting, awesome people you know…yourself!
Here’s how it works…
Self-Retreat: PART A:
#1: Set aside a day (two if possible) – NO ELECTRONICS, NO DISTRACTIONS. This is your opportunity to retreat into yourself.
#2: Have a stack of blank note cards
#3: Write one wish, desire, dream you’d like to manifest or accomplish, on each note card
#4: Keep writing – there is no limit on dreams and desires (one per note-card)
#5: PAUSE – a long pause of at least a few hours. Go do something fun – no thinking about your note cards.
Self-Retreat: PART B:
#1: Look at each note card with this question in mind:
What is a step(s) I can take to move towards my desire? AND
Why haven’t I taken this step(s) to make this reality?
Write your reasons, excuses, beliefs down. This may reveal blocks (emotional) and reasons both valid and invalid.
#2: PAUSE – a long pause of at least a few hours. Go do something fun – no thinking about your note cards.
Self-Retreat: PART C:
#1: Look at each note card with this question in mind:
Is this something I REALLY desire?
Is this desire based on my beliefs or someone else’s?
Why is it I desire this?
#2: Organize your notecards per your new insights, toss those that no longer fit you or serve your highest and greatest good and then, revisit the question “what is a step I can take to move towards my desire now?”
This mini-retreat idea would have served me well during my ‘over-ing’ years! But alas, I did not have this idea tucked in my back pocket and as such, my pile of note cards with wishes and desires was a mile high!
Today, my note card stack is very short, filled with clarity and sparkling with spaciousness for what feeds my soul.
Now it’s your turn!
I’m curious, are you feeling the pull to take your own mini-retreat (and if so, why), with a pile of note cards in hand? Post in the comment section below.
I was recently asked this question “how much self-care is needed each day?” Which begs the question, “what is self-care?”
Before I share what the Holy Grail of Self-Care is, consider this – the self-care/self-improvement is a $4.2 trillion dollar industry globally. That equals a lot of marketing and messages driven at making you think you need to be a certain way, or do a certain thing.
Charlotte Lieberman, Harvard Business Review wrote “We are approaching the pursuit of work-life balance with the same obsessive (and oppressive) energy as we do our careers. Although the American Psychiatric Association reports that 39% of U.S. adults feel more anxious than they did a year ago”
Self-care is often associated with outer-body experiences…massages, fitness, facials…all things that have a “feel good” element and for the health of your body (and mind), are very important – but, on the topic of consistent, daily care; ‘outer-body’ self-care can also feel like just another thing, you have to do and when you get over-busy, it’s the first thing that goes out the window, right?
This feeling is perpetuated by advertising from the self-care industry, fitness photo’s on social media of how you are supposed to look and all those products you need, in order to be happy plus a plethora of apps and wrist watches to track your “self-care” progress…and that’s relaxing how?
The idea of what self-care is has become completely skewed!
This past week I fully stepped out of my safe and quiet space, that I purposely stepped into, the fall of 2014…and as things go, was immediately tossed a couple of tests (aka triggers).
I could see in my minds-eye, a circle of beings hovering above me with a questioning look on their faces asking; is she really ready, can we take her down, will she pass this test?
My ‘test’ was being tossed circumstances that triggered my most deeply dug self-sabotaging behavior of – “not enough” – I don’t know enough, I’m not good enough, I’m not educated enough – my usual.
I DID NOT BITE!
Okay, truth – I was moving in to take a huge chomp of that trigger. But here’s what happens when you A) allow yourself to slow your pace and learn what you need to learn B) strengthen your awareness muscles, so C) your triggers no longer become an obstacle to take you down, they become the path to learning and opportunity.
For most of my life, I harbored the belief that a powerful, successful woman was confident witty, smart, attractive, outgoing, involved, charismatic and she was liked, because she was able to do it all…for everyone!
I learned through the school of hard knocks that my belief, was not my belief at all.
If you too have held any of these beliefs, please know you are not alone. For women, especially if you were born before the late 70’s or even early 80’s, you have been indoctrinated into a patriarchal culture through modeling of behavior passed down through generations. Add to the mix how media has impressed upon women the importance of perfection—perfection with our personalities, with our looks, with how much we do…the side-effects of social conditioning, has been a rapid moving virus, for centuries infecting almost every woman.
My fatigue that came from ‘doing it all’ and trying to be the person I thought I should be, has taken me down an interesting road; one that fostered the Sacred Selfishness philosophy, followed by Alchemy of Feminine Leadership™ that led to discovering…Virago Women!