Middle Life (35+) is the Season of Emerging, or perhaps I should say “it’s the season of greater emergence.” After all, we’re emerging from the day we took our first breath. Observing, learning, and figuring out who we are and how we fit into our family, community, and culture.
In the first few seasons of life, we build our foundation of beliefs and craft an image of who we think we are. For example, remember your teenage years (or observe your teen) and how the ‘attitude’ pendulum swings far to the side of “this is who I am, I am right, my way is the way!”
As you enter early adulthood, with growing maturity, that pendulum swings again. Now you’re out in the world, proving that you’re worthy of love, friendship, jobs, careers, motherhood, singlehood – it’s a long list and a lot of “proving” that happens during this season of life.
A rut appears around age 35 (partly due to shifting hormones). At this point of life, you’ve settled into your self-created groove… but, you’re driven by the unconscious beliefs formed in the earlier seasons of life.
You forge ahead with caffeine in hand – being it all, doing it all, juggling it all, like the superwoman, multitasker you are. If you’re like me, another decade (or two) passes before the fatigue takes a severe toll.
During my mentoring framework’s development stage, I interviewed busy women from around the world. They had all hit a wall and faced physical and emotional challenges. Exactly what had happened to me.
Change was no longer a choice for them. Stopping, reflecting, and learning what was driving them to overspend their “life energy” was essential to regaining health.
This analogy of moving from season to season reminds me of the symbolism of dragonflies – a dragonfly spends much of its early life underwater, becoming fully airborne as an adult. It’s a metamorphosis of mentally maturing and losing the binds of negative emotions that have constrained you.
Which begs the question… Who were you before the world told you who you should be?
The world told me that to be liked and accepted, I should accomplish a lot! So, in my twenties, I got busy, hustled, and multi-tasked. This way of being led to my “busyness addiction” (which masquerades as super-women, super-striver… super-overwhelmed). This was how I numbed out, so I didn’t feel what I wasn’t yet ready to feel.
All your previous seasons (the time underwater) have served an essential purpose. That purpose is to push you to be triggered, unsettled, and perhaps even angry in the middle years (and later years too). Here’s why…
Triggers (emotional reactions to circumstances and behaviors) are the window to your soul. You have a choice – resist them or use them to your benefit.
In module five of my Emerge into Joy program, I share an exercise called “Following the Thread.” It’s a map of sorts to use when you’re triggered that I’m sharing with you.
Please note that modules 1-4 of the ‘Emerge into Joy’ program guide clients to a deeper awareness of the hidden forces, social conditioning, and energy-draining actions that influence these triggers. However, as a reader of my blogs (thank you), I know you will still find the “follow the thread” process illuminating.
CLICK HERE FOR IMMEDIATE ACCESS TO “FOLLOW THE THREAD”
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world,
today I am wise so I’m changing myself.” ~Rumi
Please share your aha’s from “following the thread!” Email me anytime (even months from now), at suzy@suzycarroll.com
Wishing you joyful emerging in whatever season you’re in!
Cheers to being airborne!
Bloom on! ~Suzy
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