When it comes to aging gracefully breaking up with Busy is your “fountain of youth.”
Here’s why – stress triggers a hormone called cortisol. High levels of cortisol for long periods result in the loss of synaptic neurons, shrinking the part of your brain that regulates behaviors such as decision-making, judgment, and social interaction. Cortisol causes weight gain, interrupted sleep, and cortisol causes loss of collagen which speeds up skin aging. Yikes!
[Part 1 of a 4-part series] *Register for the February 22nd free Zoom gathering and Q&A, discussing topics shared in Part 1 and Part 2 of this email series.
[CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE AUDIO OF THIS BLOG]
Suggestion: Read my breakup letter and then write your own!
***
Busy, you used to be fun – remember that? Juggling a hundred things, multi-tasking like a boss. We arrived at the office before anyone else and hit the ground running. We were killing it – raking in money, wining-and-dining clients, and landing those big deals.
But something shifted… when Friday arrived, you weren’t so fun anymore. I ended the week in a puddle of tears from exhaustion.
You became pushy. I let you push me.
With you by my side and caffeine as our sidekick, we moved to a different city. A smaller city, where things move slower – but not us. Nope, I brought Busy with me! I should have left you then, but my beliefs of what “successful” looked like ran deep.
The status quo ruled, and together we charged forward getting things done and ‘being it all to everyone!’
Busy, I’m so exhausted. My four-month-old baby was up all night teething. I went to speak at a meeting, and babble came out of my mouth. What’s happening to me – I’m losing my sense of self. I feel heavy and alone.
But you and I, we kept going, climbing the company ladder, and now things at home aren’t going so well. My husband is drinking a lot. I don’t know what to do. But you told me to keep moving, so I did. I believed it when you said if I kept busy, I wouldn’t have to feel what I’m feeling.
I’m a single mom now. My heart is wrenched. But hey Busy, I landed a new job. I’m flying all over the country, moving and grooving… and my little boy is at home without me. My heart is breaking – Busy, why won’t you leave me alone? You’re stalking me. I don’t like it!
I’ve had it. I quit. This isn’t the life I want – you’re really getting on my nerves. I’m buying my own business, then I’ll finally have time for myself.
Busy, why are you laughing… you’ve been laughing at me for ten years while I owned my store – why? TELL ME WHY!
What?! You have been telling me?!
My exhaustion was a sign to slow down.
Not sleeping well was my wake-up call.
Saying “no” to things I used to enjoy, was you dropping a hint that we’re not a good match anymore.
Feeling stretched to the breaking point, was you trying to get my attention.
Why didn’t you speak up?
Oh. You did—I didn’t hear you. I was moving so fast. I missed all the signs, but my body sure didn’t. My adrenals are toast – complete and utter toast! You make me so mad.
Busy, you’ve depleted my mind, body, and soul.
What?!! Are you breaking up with me? NO WAY – I’M BREAKING UP WITH YOU – I’m saying it first!
I’m taking my life back; I’m saying yes to me, I’m learning new habits, I’m letting go of the beliefs that hold me back.
Busy, I thought we were good together, but now I know it was all an illusion. Our relationship wasn’t real or true. It was based on lies you told me about how women “should” behave.
I’m so mad at you. Why couldn’t I see you for who you really are – a mask of illusion. Illusions that have kept me bound by beliefs that are holding me back. I’m done, we’re done – goodbye!
***
Hey busy, it’s been years since I last bumped into you. You look worried. Ah, you’ve heard. Yes, it’s true – I’m no longer driven by adrenaline or trying to prove myself. I’ve embraced the steps to heal my addiction to busyness – your drug of choice. I kicked that habit years ago, and our dysfunctional relationship has become my inspiration to help other women break up with you!
I wouldn’t dare?! Oh yes, I would… and I am! It’s begun. Women everywhere are breaking the pattern of illusion that has led them to overwork and overwhelm.
You know what, Busy? I’m grateful to you. I wouldn’t be doing what I do without my experiences with you. I’m happy, relaxed, calm, and I’ve found my pace of grace.
What did you say? You’re so quiet, but I heard you… you’re correct – women are gathering, we’re reclaiming our power, our serenity, and taking back the reins of our lives.
Watch out; with women leading the way, things will change fast, and let me be straight up with you – there’s no room for your style of Busy anymore!
The End… and The Beginning.
*This breakup letter may sound familiar. It was first published in 2018. Since then, I’ve learned a thing or two about ‘Busy,’ prompting this rewrite.
Please join me for a group Zoom gathering and Q&A, discussing topics from Part 1 and Part 2 of this email series. PRE-REGISTRATION IS REQUIRED
Date: Tuesday, February 22nd
Time: 4:30 – 5:15 PM PST (7:30 EST, 5:30 MT)
Topic: Q&A and discussion from Part 1 and Part 2
*To create a safe space for sharing, these zoom calls will not be recorded.
*Video must be on for the intro (to deter “trolls”)
SAVE THE DATE! Call #2 registration will be included with Part 3 of the series.
Date: Tuesday, March 29th, Time: 4:30 – 5:15 PM PST (7:30 EST, 5:30 MT)
Cheering on your best year ever – without Busy as your sidekick!
~Suzy
