This blog explores “what gets in your way,” midlife messiness, getting naked with what’s real, and a “truth bomb” about women and busyness. Plus, I would love your help with ideas for something new coming in 2022!
I’m creating something new and laughing, rolling my eyes (at myself), while muttering, OMG Suzy, really?!
Yeah. Really!
Picture this: You’re standing naked in front of a mirror, fully exposed – seeing it all. Every middle-age bulge, bump, droop in the skin, and well-earned wrinkle. You dash for the closet—pull on clothes, perhaps Spanx if that’s your thing, and turn away from the mirror, hiding what you don’t like beneath layers of figure-enhancing (or masking) fabric.
Hold that thought (feel free to get dressed though).
Recently a friend encouraged me to create a membership group – I love this idea; after all, one of my most joy-filled activities is connecting, communicating, and collaborating with like-minded women.
But, as the ideas began to swirl, I found myself standing naked… in front of my laptop (webcam covered, of course), facing the bumps and bulges that say – “you’re not enough, you don’t have enough to share, you don’t know enough, what if no one signs up?” What if, what if, what if – argh!
My “safety” mechanism kicks into high gear as I slip into an ‘old story’ neural pathway.
Brain fog settles in, and suddenly I’m jumping down rabbit holes, and yes, using “busyness” as a distraction.
So, I disengaged and went outside to shovel sh*t (literally, I have a dog), clear my head, and the laughter began. For the last seven years, I’ve stripped away layer upon layer of false comfort-inducing habits, beliefs, and thought patterns.
I see myself. I feel my reactions. I know what’s going on – my psyche can’t fool me anymore!
Not being controlled or led by outside influences is wonderfully freeing and liberating. It’s an “own your messiness” way of living and beats perfectionism, hands down!
Back to the mirror, standing naked. Women have been influenced, primarily by media (blame Twiggy if you like), that skinny, perky, tight, and wrinkle-free is what’s accepted and expected. We’ve also been influenced that we’re here to serve, fix, caretake, “do it all,” and busyness keeps women in their place.
Busyness is a distraction that dilutes impact, leads women away from shining their inner light, breaking glass ceilings, luxuriating in laziness, and leading with joy.
Tim Kreider wrote in his 2012 New York Times article condemning busyness, “The Puritans turned work into a virtue, evidently forgetting that God invented it as a punishment.” He then went on to say, “Busyness serves as a kind of existential reassurance, a hedge against emptiness.”
Emptiness = Naked. Vulnerable, uncomfortable, and dashing to the closet for clothes!
I believe that underneath “how society says you should be and how you should look” is a woman ready to move past self-created illusions, take middle life by the reins, and create your definition of success and a life well-lived. Middle-life metamorphosis. Mmm, mmm good!
Do you agree, and can you help me?
What would entice you to join a membership group for over-40 women? What topics interest you? Would you participate in twice-monthly zoom coaching calls, quarterly book club, or perhaps bi-monthly collaborative calls with an expert? What feels like “too much” and “enough?”
Are you part of a membership group? Please share what you do and don’t like (thank you.) suzy@suzycarroll.com
This membership group (yet to be named) will undoubtedly focus on releasing what no longer serves you while navigating “magnificent middle life” with like-minded women. Together you’ll unwind from your social conditioning, ‘shush the should’ monster, and begin to own your uniqueness (and messiness) while exploring methods and ideas for:
- Nourishing your body
- Quieting your mind
- Feeding your soul
- Leading with Joy
My desire is to support members with middle life “flourishment” – without overwhelming and not too techy because we’re women who remember life with rotary phones, without social media, and likely danced to Madonna!
Thank you for your thoughts and ideas. If you’d prefer a short zoom chat – please reach out. Creating this membership group (with occasional trips down the rabbit hole) is my focus for the remainder of this year.
INTERESTED? Click here to be notified when the membership group moves from conceptual to real!
Cheers!
Suzy
