It’s been a while since I last wrote – four months to be exact. There’s a reason, but first—have you heard this quote before? “When something goes wrong in life, just yell PLOT TWIST and move on!”
Did you know that authors often use plot twists to develop storylines and characters? (hold that thought)
Plot Twist #1: Writing blogs came to a halt due in part, to something called “Biotoxin Illness” (definition below).
Plot Twist #2: Arrived in early March when my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor.
Pause button engaged. Here’s why…
When life deals a bad hand, you have a choice – ignore it (never a good idea) or explore it (always a good idea). My exploration centered around “what do I have the capacity for?” The answer was clear – anything that was influenced by the ‘shoulds’ was out. Anything that supported joy and exploring my full range of emotions, was in.
Example: I “should” send emails regularly. I “should” finish updating my website. I “should” be posting on social media. I should be-doing-more….arrrgh – crazy-making isn’t it?!
Instead, I chose to stand with “me” – supporting my wellbeing so I had the capacity to hold space for my husband’s healing, without depleting myself (aka Sacred Selfishness). FYI: “Holding space” means to offer an ear, your heart, and support without judgment or wanting anything back.
I’ve tried the “superwoman” method (so many times!) – “I’ve got this, full steam ahead, bring it on, I can do it all!” And then crashed mentally, physically, and emotionally. This is the space where resentment begins to creep in. Sound familiar?
Recently a client and I were talking about life balance, and I shared my perspective that there is no such thing as balance. Harmony, “a pleasing arrangement of parts”, between work life and personal life – yes, but constant balance – that’s ‘bar set too high’ stuff.
My client’s eyes went wide as this thought sunk in and then her face brightened as she told me how she often reminds her yoga students to “recalibrate center” for poses that require balance. What a brilliant analogy!
“To be with you” – to be present is all about “recalibration of center” – it’s as important as flossing your teeth. Without recalibration, the “pull” of guilt, old stories, social conditioning, the ‘shoulds’ and over-serving the needs of others; builds up fast and just like plaque (I know – yuck) clogs your flow of spirit, of creativity, of ease and health.
The past 18 months have been one huge, mammoth, MF of a plot twist for everyone AND…you’re the author; creating your story and developing your character! So, with a pencil in hand…how will you write the next chapter in your story?
Here are 7 questions to help you navigate plot twists:
- Where are you doing too much or offering too much?
- Are you advocating for yourself (are you prioritizing your well-being)?
- Do you talk yourself up, or talk yourself down?
- Do you “beat yourself up” for not doing enough, being good enough, or missing the perfection mark?
- Are you hard on yourself, or kind and gentle with yourself?
- What can you let go of, in support of your wellbeing and those you love?
- What adjustments can you make to “recalibrate center?”
By the way, my husband’s tumor removal surgery was successful and he’s on the road to recovery. Phew!
Wishing you enlightening, illuminating, and rejuvenating… recalibrating (the ‘ings’ of life 😉)
Ubuntu!
Suzy
My client time feeds my soul! Curious about working together? Please email to schedule a time to explore. suzy@suzycarroll.com
Biotoxin Illness: The Quiet Epidemic
Biotoxin Illness is not widely recognized and is very misunderstood. If you’ve been exposed to mold past or present and are not feeling well (including sinus issues, brain fog, persistent body aches…), PLEASE find a practitioner who is trained in the Shoemaker protocol, or is familiar with the protocol. If someone in your life is diagnosed with Lyme/Marcon’s/CIRS/Biotoxin Illness/HLA DR Gene, who appears to be a “hypochondriac”, they are not – it’s real and if left untreated, it’s very dangerous.
Biotoxin Illness is caused when a person is exposed to neurotoxins from biological organisms in their environment. It is an environmentally acquired illness commonly caused by mold growth in water-damaged buildings. Those with the HLA DR gene (like me) and Lyme disease are highly susceptible to molds and chemicals. For someone with the HLA DR gene, the body’s detoxification system does not function. Biotoxin Illness forces the immune system into constant overdrive causing cytokine storms and mast cell activation. Many people with biotoxin illness have the HLA-DR gene predisposing them to MS, Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis to name a few. This debilitating illness masquerades as fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, Sjogren syndrome, neurological disorders, and more.
Due to the “masquerade” factor, my path to diagnosis took five years. For many, it takes much longer. The path to healing can take years. A lesson in patience for sure!
If you’re a bit of a nerd (like I am) you might find this biotoxin pathway graphic interesting.
With deep gratitude to my Naturopathic team Dr. Dawn Reardon and Dr. Anna Sitkoff, for having the wherewithal to follow many threads the eventually led to a diagnosis.
