I know what upper limiting is. I’ve read the Big Leap by Gay Hendricks (twice) and re-read the chapter on upper limiting (three times). I even talk about upper limiting in my course, but it wasn’t until this week that how I upper limit, finally became crystal clear.
Upper limiting is a form of self-sabotage. We have a desire we’d like to fulfill and a dream to spread our wings, but our brains want us to take the easiest path. It’s crazy because the easiest path, is most often the path that finds us falling into habits and patterns that result in the opposite of what we’re desiring.
Case in point.
I recently completed creating a course to help women find their clarity and confidence so that life and business moves forward with much more ease. I’ve been testing this new course curriculum with clients, fine-tuning it and building my own confidence too. Yahoo – it’s working, it’s ready to go. Next step is to set a date, promote my offering and bring this to the world. Right?
Apparently, it was time to make edits to my website, to learn about membership sites, to read an entire book about copywriting, to re-write my lead gen offer (a free download called Six Steps to Harnessing Clarity and Confidence), to do anything except what I’ve been working towards for three years.
Well, my next step is frankly, scary – outside of my comfort zone, so my mind is throwing up obstacles to make sure I take the easy path. And that’s crazy! What’s easy about status quo?
“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen.” – Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby
Taking a page from my course handbook (the course I have yet to publicly offer)…
“We all have an internal thermostat for what is comfortable.
Even though we may use words like “bring it on”, when ‘on’ arrives, it’s uncomfortable and yes, even too good.
Our thermostat is usually set by our parents, relatives and teachers when we are young. What was comfortable for them, has become comfortable for us.
Upper Limiting shows up as self-doubt, fear of failure/criticism, wanting to fit in, worry and even guilt when something comes easy to you and not to others.”
The next line I wrote in the handbook “Identifying your hidden self-sabotaging behaviors is a powerful step to turning your comfort thermostat up,” clearly needs to begin with “listen up Suzy!”
I am listening.
The beauty of harnessing clarity is you begin to see through a clearer lens. Without clarity I would have missed (once again) my behaviors that are leading me away from what I desire.
I now see that my upper limiting sabotage shows up as:
- Saying to myself “I’m almost ready, I just need to __________first.”
- Getting creative with graphic design – it’s easy, it’s fun.
- Learning more and more – because, how can I move forward if I don’t know everything…right now?
- Deciding that my website copy I have, isn’t good enough…again!
- Doubting what I’ve created. Egads! This course was created with guidance from a PhD in Adult Learning for an entire year. Hello!!!
BUSYNESS = AVOIDANCE – AH HAH!
Think about it – is there something you would love to accomplish or do?
What are the behaviors that get in your way? I’ll be the first to tell you, it’s tricky! These behaviors masquerade in the most creative ways…procrastination, excuses, stories, should’s, busyness, comparison and not good enough.
When life is a whirlwind of constant activity, juggling all that you do…catching how you sabotage yourself is lost in the noise of the day.
Turn down the noise, so you can turn up your thermostat!
The heat is on! Care to join me?