The following is a “story” of meltdowns, miracles, guidance, trust, synchronicity, and transition.
Silence has been my mode of operation for the past four months.
It was crazy at first! I went from living in the world one way and overnight it drastically changed. What changed? I sold my nutrition store and transferred ownership on January 1st, 2015. To sell a store in my little town, to sell it to someone with good credit, but little savings, who was able to get a lone (unheard of), and to sell it to someone who had the skills to change the business model in order for the store to continue thriving with so many people now purchasing supplements online is nothing short of a miracle!
I expected post-sale to be full of gleeful happiness, unbridled energy, and a surge of creativity. Instead, I 
became a turtle and almost incapable of doing anything that required me to operate on a schedule or be around people and so I surrendered, but not easily. Oh no! First I had a full-on meltdown.
WEEK ONE: Pure craziness, but it did result in every closet in my home being cleaned. Oops! I brought my “go-go” work habits home with me.
WEEK TWO: Do over! I slowed down a bit (progress).
WEEK THREE: Trying this again but holy moly! I had thought by now (a mere three weeks) I would have been rested and ready to embark on a “bridge project”. After all one must work and one must earn money, and one must never dip into savings. These are my rules and I live by them!
A series of fortunate events, led to a huge meltdown complete with full-on body sobs, blubbering out all of my “rules” while my husband firmly held my hands for support (or perhaps to keep me from jettisoning through the roof), while I choked out this sentence – “what if I just trusted?” My husband responded with, “yes, Suzy, what if you just trusted?”.
And so, with ‘trust’ in my back pocket the “transition sabbatical” begins.
My former store is now in the capable hands of a Naturopathic Physician. I’m thrilled she’s thrilled, but I wasn’t as thrilled as I thought I would be at having all the time in the world on my hands. I had no idea what to do with myself. In fact, week three found me so lost that I had to do something that felt familiar and so I vacuumed. Thankfully on that very same day, a friend checked in to see how I was doing and when I shared why I was vacuuming, she said “Suzy, get the book ‘Transitions, Making Sense of Life Changes’, by William Bridges, right now”. I binged-read the book in one day (it gave me something to do 😉 and discovered I was not crazy and given the about-face my life had just taken, everything was as it should be.
Fast forward. I had granted myself a short sabbatical period that would end in February. That time frame came and went. I rested, went for many beach walks, visited out-of-town friends, took a vacation with my husband, became oh-so-mindful of my moods, and learned that every hour is a do-over and that even though I am gleefully happy to have entered into a new way of living, that I still have grumpy moments and I still have ‘off’ days. Finally, three months later my desire to re-enter the world surfaced again, but my energy had not.
I believe that when the time is right, things happen such as random encounters, and synchronicities that, if listening, can guide you in a healthy direction.
For many years now I have made room for quiet time and embraced moments of silence. During the first three decades of my adult life, I lived in a whirlwind of activity, but when I look back I see that although the view was blurry, I was still being guided. Back then the guidance came much harsher. I was not awake, I was not listening and I was not seeing. So often “guidance” came in the form of a two-by-four post upside my thick Taurus head. That was then, this is now.
Had I not sold my store, I would not have met a brilliant Naturopath (new store owner) who, through testing, discovered a genetic disorder.
With this knowledge, I now understood why fatigue is so hard to kick and most important, I am very lucky (unlike my parents who both died from cancer) to have this knowledge that allows me to be very proactive.
I have been guided to exactly where I need to be. My career and my passion are all about living life both healthy and happy. Had I led a lifestyle that is common to a high percentage of our population, by now I would be among the millions popping prescription drugs. I’m am not.
A deep breath of gratitude for happenstance events, random encounters, and synchronicities.
What is my next step? In March I began an intensive course learning how to build an online business. I launched a new website. I’m coaching again and ideas are bubbling away and gliding onto paper for workshops, teleseminars, webinars, and eventually retreats. This is my thing – I love to teach and I love to inspire and I love to share what I’ve learned from my ‘school of hard knocks’ so it’s easier for everyone else!
But once again I find myself feeling that internal “huh, this is interesting”…
I think I have finally got it!
Life doesn’t always go exactly as you want it to but it does go exactly as it should.
Just like a turtle, move slowly forward, one step at a time – pause often, be mindful of those internal nudges, and remember that every hour is a do-over!
The most important thing I learned over the past four months is this: When the mind is quiet we see the world clearly. Hit that pause button, take a few deep breaths, listen, and watch for “signs.” They will appear, when you turn down the noise of life.
Cheers!
~Suzy
Have you ever had a life transition that threw you for a loop? What did you learn from that? Inquiring minds (mine especially) want to know – post a comment here!