Sitting here today, it is hard for me to imagine that I lived most of my life not liking myself at all.  I lived in constant judgment of myself – always living outside of myself.

I’ve come to believe that the key to everything – love, success, happiness, health, joy, triumph, relationships, relaxation, is self LOVE!

I didn’t wake up one morning and say “yippee, I love myself”, it was a process.  The process began the day I woke up and realized there was something bigger than myself.

When I finally came to this realization that God (Universe, Spirit, Buddha…) wanted nothing but the best for me, I began for the first time in my life to feel love for myself.  It was a relief, life was no longer all on my shoulders.  My fears dissipated and were replaced with a calm that is with me every single moment.  I believe that my strong non-belief status “I don’t believe in God’, stopped me from believing in myself.  I had shut the door to the Universe and shut the door to my heart.

With love comes acceptance.  You won’t find me at church or reading the bible, this just isn’t my way.  You will find me meditating, laughing and even praying, this is my way.  I believe true love is unconditional; your way is beautiful for you and my way is beautiful for me.  We can all exist together with love, in our own way.

The question is how do you guide someone who doesn’t like themselves to a place of self-love?  I have a feeling the answers are on the way!

Why is self-love so important?  Perhaps this piece written by my wonderful friend Mary Deveneau, will answer this question.

Thrive, Become, Live, Love

Make it all about YOU.  It all starts with YOU.

If this year you decide to THRIVE, others will flourish.

If this year you decide to BECOME who you were meant to be, you will help someone else to see the possibilities for themselves.

If this year you decide to LIVE life to the fullest, you will bring JOY to others.

If this year you decide to LOVE yourself completely, you will have an abundance of love to share with the world.

It all starts with YOU.  This year, make it all about YOU.

With love!

~Suzy

When I first created my weight loss program I ran the series out of my nutrition store. As the program evolved a website was created and a tele-seminar program launched.  As this program evolved, a third evolution took place and the program is now offered on your schedule via audio sessions.
All wonderful, but oh how I was missing the in-person connection.
So to fulfill my own need, January 4th, I launched what was intended as my one and only live program for 2012 (I say intended, as I’m having so much fun, I just might do this again).
This group, which includes the first man to ever to take The Positive Solution™ program is progressing forward beautifully.

At our first gathering (participants had completed audio sessions one and two, – 2 1/2 weeks into the 10 week program), I took brief notes from each person.  As you will see below, releasing weight is a process.  You don’t need to be perfect about it. You just need to be mindful!

This morning I awoke to tears as I thought about an email my dearest friend sent telling us about the suicide of their neighbor this past weekend.  I was struck with sadness for my friend (her husband was the one who cut the noose and administered CPR). Four children returned home from a weekend with their father, expecting to return to life as normal with their mother.

How could this happen?  How can someone commit suicide and leave behind four children?  How does someone walk through life without anyone knowing that they may be suicidal?

I have an answer and I have a secret that I have held close to my heart for years. I was one of these people, I was suicidal.

At age 20, I had hit rock bottom.  I don’t remember saying the words “I’m going to commit suicide”, but I do remember saying “I want to go to sleep and never wake up”.  I was tired, lost, sad and lonely, I felt worthless and my heart was hurting.  I remember walking to the store and purchasing a bottle of sleeping pills.  I remember swallowing half the bottle and then I remember getting violently ill.  I don’t remember the details, but I do know from this point forward I slowly picked myself up and consciously began improving my life.  No one knew, no one even suspected how close I had come to sleeping forever.

Fast forward 19 years.  I’m married, have a child.  We live on the water with beautiful views, have a wonderful circle of friends, and I enjoy every waking moment that the joy of motherhood brought me, but yet, a part of me was slowly dying.  My husband was an alcoholic.  Years of living in this environment was beginning to take its toll.  I went to counselor after counselor trying to find out what was wrong with ME.  Why did my husband treat me the way he did?   I sunk lower and lower.  For the outside world, and even my close circle of friends, I displayed a smile and positive attitude.  No one knew that inside I was lost, sad and lonely, I felt worthless and my heart was hurting.  I remember looking in the mirror and emptiness staring back at me.  I remember curling up in a ball in the bathroom crying, hiding behind the noise of the fan, then wiping away the tears and putting a smile on my face for my son.  I remember feeling like I was living in a tunnel, going through the motions, but feeling nothing.  I was numb.  I wanted to go to sleep, and not wake up.  But going to sleep would mean never seeing my son again. This thought I couldn’t bear.  I’ve always said that my son kept me alive.  He didn’t know this and I never would have put such a burden on him.  But his cute face and happy disposition, woke me up enough to get help, the help came in the form of a little pill – an antidepressant and counseling.  These little pills lifted the cloud the counseling opened my eyes.  I saw clearly, stepped off the curb and left my husband.

Today I know why I once attempted suicide and why I didn’t the second time. Without knowing it, even though life was challenging, I had begun to integrate what I call the Seven Rays of Life: Family, friends, career, finances, pleasure, spirituality and whole-health.  When I was 20, my life was fragmented, when I was 38, three of the seven rays where beginning to integrate.  Three was enough to help me step beyond this challenging time in life.  As I approach my 49th year, I have now integrated all the Seven Rays of Life.  How do I know?  When life presents challenges, integration of all aspects of life provides me with the tools and support to navigate through the occasional tough times from a place of calm.  I not only cherish life, I cherish myself.

I feel so sad for this mother who made a choice to sleep forever.  I feel so sad for the children that she left behind.  I feel so sad for this close neighborhood and friends who are now navigating their way through a very difficult time.  And I feel stronger than ever about getting the message to the world of the importance of creating balance in life and the importance of the Seven Rays of Life: Family, friends, career, finances, pleasure, spirituality and whole-health.

This post is dedicated to my wonderful, kind, loving and thoughtful friends the Thurston’s and the family next door.

May you find the calm that comes when all the rays of life flow together into one!

Are you breathing?

When I’m working, I go into a very intense zone. I enjoy being super focused, but over the years, I’ve come to realize it is to the detriment of my health.  Intensity, is the state of being ‘in – tense’, i.e., tension!  My intense work nature creates tension from the tip to toes.  From a health perspective; tension creates stress, stress creates inflammation, and inflammation is the precursor to many diseases.  Deep breath…

We breathe all day long, but most of us are breathing so shallow that we are barely moving the stale air out of our lungs. According to Stella Resnick, Ph.D., author of The Pleasure Zone, “most of us are closet breathers; our exhales just seep out of us unconsciously.  It’s not even considered proper in polite company to breathe too fully.  Try taking a few sighs in a social situation just to relax.  The people you’re with will probably ask you what’s wrong.  Breathing deeply, can change your mood, your thoughts and even your energy level”.

While enjoying an acupuncture session, I struck up a conversation about my intense nature and lack of breathing.  My acupuncturist taught me this method:  Breath in deeply through your mouth, making your first breath expand your tummy.  Exhale through your nose drawing in your chest.  This is backwards from normal breathing.  Close your eyes and count, one and two, one and two…

Dr. Resnick also suggests these breathing methods:
The cleansing breath: inhale through your nose all the way up to the top of the breath and then blow out slightly puckering lips all the way down until you run out of air.

The sighing breath:  Deep inhale and a soft exhale through the mouth.  This breath releases deep tensions and emotions and can be used to highlight and enhance pleasurable feelings.

Ah, feels good! 

My solution for breaking the intense insanity – I set my alarm on my cell phone for every two hours and take a short breathing break.  My body relaxes, my spirit elevates and I’m a much more productive and happier person!

Give it a try – breath to release!

Whoosh…

Have you felt it?  Time, or our perception of time, is speeding up.  There are many different opinions of why time appears to be moving at warp speed; juggling too many tasks, an increase of universal energy, fast pace work life and always looking ahead.  Do any of these sound familiar?
 
Jill Bolte Taylor; author of My Stroke of Insight; is a brain scientist who had a stroke.  Her book is the story of what happens when your mind stops and restarts.  Her stroke was centralized in her left hemisphere (where a brain scientist would live) and where I live too.  Jill says, “My left mind processes information remarkably fast-much faster than the right hemisphere, which in comparison tends to hoe-de-doe along”.  I crave hoe-de-doe!  But alas, as Jill puts it, “my left brain is a magnificent multi-tasker and loves performing as many functions as it can at the same time.  It measures its value by how many things it can crosses off my daily to-do list”. 
 
What do you do about the whoosh?
You course correct.  Years ago I heard the analogy of how a plane travels.  It does not fly straight from point A to point B.  Along the way, a plane must continually ‘course correct’ to get to its destination.  Life is the same.  We get on a path, we get off a path.  If the path is one that brings us; health, love, enjoyment, calm, peace, accomplishment, learning, growing and balance, then grab that joy stick and get back on track!
 
I must be honest.  I’m not writing this for you, oh sure, that was my original intent, but as the words went down on paper, I realized Oh S*&%! I’ve done it again.  Thankfully, I catch myself stepping off track, much faster than I did even just a year ago.  Here are five steps for stopping the whoosh:

#1: Take ‘ten’, every morning.  Ten minutes of meditation.  This does not mean meditating on your ‘to-do’ list.  Quiet your mind. When a thought pops in, let it pass through and get back to lounging on a cloud, or humming a sound.  At the end of the 10minutes, set your intentions for the day.  How do you want your day to proceed, feel, and be?
 
#2: Every time your mind wanders into the future, bring it back to the ‘now’, present.
Right now I’m sitting on my sofa, writing and sipping my morning latte.  That’s it.  There is nothing else. ‘Now’ is the future.
 
#3: Can feel the ‘whoosh’? For me; my body tightens up, my ‘mind thought’ becomes very intense and as one of my employee’s commented this week, you look so serious!  Obviously, my face squishes up as well. Yah!  Lighten up!
When you feel the intensity take over, STOP.  Take ‘five’.  Walk around, laugh, jump up and down (which will probably make you laugh). Do something that gives your mind and body a break, in other words – STOP and smell the roses.
 
#4: Whenever you feel the pressure of time, say to yourself “my timing will be perfect and elegant”, deep breath, relax!  Give it a try. It’s amazing how these words bring forth an instant relaxing of the mind and body.
 
#5:  The more you do, the less you accomplishment.  What a valuable lesson this was for me.  Do less, accomplish more.  Burn that ‘to-do’ list, or at least ask yourself “do I really need to accomplish all this today?” Really?  Nah – you don’t. 
 
I wish for you a life full of ease, grace and hoe-de-doe.
 
Warmly,
Suzy
 
*Kudos to Regena Thomashauer, for “my timing will be perfect and elegant”.