“The more distant we are from the unique spark of life in our soul,
the more devastating and isolating the growing darkness and
uncertainty in the world will seem to be.” ~Michael Meade
Had I read Michael’s quote in my thirties, I’m not sure it would have had an impact. I was too busy climbing the corporate ladder, raising my son, navigating an unstable marriage, building a house, volunteering, hosting dinners and doing all the ‘things’ that people are supposed to do, while keeping a smile on my face and working very hard at maintaining the image of someone who had it all together (not that I even realized I was working hard at maintaining an image).
My outer world fit well with how outer worlds where supposed to look and as such, I fooled myself into believing all was well. It wasn’t.
For many the cure to our “inner growing darkness” is ‘over-ing’. Over-drinking, over-drugging, over-doing, over-pleasing, over-yesing, over-giving, over-eating, over-committing and even over-exercising. ‘Over-ing’ has become how we numb out, stuff our feelings down and attempt to keep one step ahead of unhappiness.
In my late thirties, the clouds lowered around me and a deep depression settled in. I was lucky. I recognized that I was in trouble and got help. Help came in the form of an anti-depressant that lifted the clouds, removed my anxiety and gave me a false sense, that all was well. It wasn’t.
On I marched, through a divorce, being a single mom, moving, buying a little home for my son and I, landing a great job, meeting a wonderful man, getting re-married, buying my nutrition store…and every morning with caffeine in hand, I hit the ground running.
Life was good. My outer world, fit well with how outer worlds are supposed to look.
I juggled a lot of balls, moved fast, kept an organized and tidy home, was a super-involved (albeit distracted) mom, volunteered, smiled and my nutrition store was going gang busters.
Life had fun moments, laughs and good times and as such, I fooled myself into believing all was well.
Slowly my body began to resist. Even though I ate healthy, and took the best supplements, my body was trying to tell me, enough is enough! I became increasingly tired – my solution was more caffeine. My daily state of anxiousness, resulted in digestive issues, sleeplessness, I withdrew socially and by the time I sold my nutrition store, I had full blown adrenal fatigue.
My ‘over-ing’ robbed me of precious moments with my son, my husband, my friends and along the way I lost myself.
I completely bought into the cultural ‘myth’ that being busy equals a fulfilling life.
A few truths I’ve learned along the way:
- Being over-busy equals a full life, not a fulfilled life.
- “The more distant we are from the unique spark of life in our soul…” the more overwhelmed, lost and lonely we become.
- Overwhelm is an emotional state developed from beliefs and habits that we unwittingly adopt.
- Every time we say ‘yes’ to something or someone, we are saying ‘no’ to ourselves.
- Balance is a verb – always in action. In fact, when balance occurs, there is no movement. Movement is essential to life.
- Doing less of what does not serve you, and more of what does, increases your personal and professional success 10-fold.
- You can unwind from overwhelm! I had an extreme case of busyness – I did it, you can too.
To re-discover your ‘unique spark of life’, start with the links below. And might I suggest a cup of calming tea, practicing Sacred Selfishness™ by setting boundaries (say what? – click here 😉 and take 15 minutes to enlighten and brighten the life path you are on.
- Understanding balance – the ebb and flow & 3 questions to ask yourself – click here
- Rewire your emotional response system with this simple tip – click here
- Sort out your internal clutter – 11 questions to ask yourself – click here
- Say “no” – but first learn why you are saying “yes” – click here
Where are you over-ing? No need to know why (yet) – the first step is acknowledging awareness. Please share in the comments below.
P.S. I’d love to keep this conversation going. Click here to join my closed Facebook group page: Overcome Overwhelm