Does your reflection in the mirror leave you wanting to turn away or having your photo taken throw you into what I call “the uncomfortables”?

I few blog posts back I wrote about my discovery that I distort the image of myself. Not in a good way. The nose grows, the wrinkles get deeper and so on. And then a few days ago I was handed a disk full of photos of me. At first glance I loved them. At second glance I began to examine them. On third glance my internal distortion app kicked in. So what was the difference between the first glance and the third glance?

Faces are just faces.  Mirror image

Have you ever met someone that by today’s standards is very attractive and then as you have gotten to know them they become less attractive? Or how about the opposite – you meet someone who by today’s standards would not be considered attractive, but as you get to know them they become beautiful.  What happened? You are feeling their soul and ‘seeing’ the essence of who they are.

So I ask you this, when you look at yourself, are you looking at your facial features or are you seeing and feeling your soul, your spirit, the essence of you? When you look at someone else are you seeing their soul or just their face?

Perhaps by dropping into this feeling place it will be easier to step out of judgment of ourselves and others and into this place of really owning not only our awesomeness, but others too!

To answer the question of what was the difference between that first glance and third glance, it’s this: First glance I saw my essence, my soul. Second glance, I saw my facial features. Third glance, my internal distortion app kicked in.

Go ahead – stare at your beautiful self – not your facial features, but deep into your eyes and see your soul and experience the feelings that come up. It may be tears of joy, sadness, loss and happiness. Then take a moment, close yours eyes and acknowledge all that is wonderful about the essence of you.

Honoring the awesomeness of you!



I recently had the pleasure of being interviewed by Dr. Leslie Hewitt, founder of The WOW Talks. I was sharing my story of a suicide attempt three decades ago and it occurred to me that if just one thing had been different I never would have said the words “I want to go to sleep and never wake up.”

That one thing is self worth.
Had I valued my existence and valued myself I would never have swallowed that handful of sleeping pills. I wanted people to like me and as a result I only shared my happy self (not even recognizing that people did like me).  I never would have picked up the phone and called a friend to say, “I feel really lonely or I need help or I feel like crap today”. Never! My belief was that people don’t like you if you are not happy.

How does one embrace self worth? If you don’t have it how do you find it? I don’t have the answer because the answer is as   individual as the person. But come on world! Even the people who appear to have the most perfect lives have moments, days, weeks, months and even years of struggling to hold it all together. Please stop hiding these moments. We are human, we have them. Wouldn’t it be great that when asked “how are you today” you could answer honestly – “you know, I’m feeling like crap right now, thank you for asking”. For those of you on the positive thinking track or law of attraction track I have most likely just made you cringe (me being one of them – I cringed a bit). This isn’t about woe is me; it’s about being truthful – speaking our truth. Your truth could save somebody. And speaking your truth is like cleaning out the closet – it leaves room for all that good and wonderful to enter.

When I take myself back to that moment in time, I was under the impression that all the adults in my life and all my friends in my life were completely happy and struggling with nothing. I felt alone, I didn’t understand what was wrong with mIf you love someonee and I felt worthless. I can’t help but wonder if I heard the people in my life sharing their less than glorious moments would I have judged myself less and realized that shit happens?

Today I am full of gratitude for the box of tools I now have. For my spotter sisters, to my community, my friends, my husband, my son, my dog, my business and for learning that when I’m feeling down and out, the simple practice of expressing gratitude for what I do have gets me back on track.

This brings me back to my question, how does someone find self worth? What can we do to help those who are depressed, lonely, abusing drugs, alcohol or even busyness to avoid feeling what they are feeling?

This is a conversation we must have and keep having and remember that the simplest gesture of a smile or compliment has the power to lift someone up. Had someone back then, I don’t know who, but had someone hugged me three decades ago, I would have melted into a puddle of tears instead of swallowing a handful of sleeping pills.

The conversation is open…please keep it going.

*For those that have known someone who has attempted or committed suicide, please know that there are not always clear signs. There were none with me -  no one would have known.



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